Sitting on my tush for the last few weeks, watching daytime television, has taught me a few things...
- If you watch the same talkshows all week long, you can see the same interview several times. On Monday you will see Hilary Duff on Regis and Kelly, on Tuesday she will be on the view, on Wednesday she will be on Rachel Ray, on Thursday she will be on Ellen. I am sure she is on someone else on Friday, but by this point I have changed the channel.
- Americans must sue people A LOT. Every 3rd commercial is a law firm. One lawyer specializes in accident law, three commercials later you can get a lawyer for suing the hospital for giving you the wrong meds when you were in labor, 3 commerials later and there is one specializing in suing your insurance company for denying your disability claims.
- Americans also spend a lot of money on their homes. Plumbers, flooring, bathtubs, granite counter tops, and they all have catchy little jingles that get stuck in your head and you find yourself singing while making dinner later that night.
- I am going to die really soon. I am either going to get some awful disease from the hospital and die several weeks after surgery because of it, leave my purse on the floor and get a disease from that, have some undiagnosed heart issue, get cancer from plastics, have undiagnosed diabetes, get brain cancer from my cell phone, have my appendix blow up because of my standard american diet (oh wait, I don't have an appendix, phew!) or be allergic to my house and die of mould poisoning. I really need to stop watching Dr. Oz and the Doctors. (But the main guy on the Doctor's is sooo cute and he takes his shirt off A LOT, so maybe I can just watch it on mute?)
- I need to get out more.
I have also learnt:
- When you are home all day and don't get out much you spend much less money on gas and eating out.
- You CAN get bored of eating Mr. Noodles
- It's ok if you forget to take the meat out in the morning. You have all day to thaw those steaks!
- I can only watch 5 continuous hours of tv before I am ready to find any reason at all to go out. We might run out of milk in 3 days? ON IT!
- I am actually excited to get a job soon. I have pretty much been sitting around for 2 months now. It sounds fun... it's not.
- The internet isn't as interesting when you have all day every day to surf it. It's much more interesting when you are sneaking onto your favorite site from work.
Happy Friday!
No comments:
Post a Comment